


Can I Bleed within your Heart?

by Peachpancake



Series: Broken Compass [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha are best friends okay, Action, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, BAMF Bang Chan, Bang Chan Needs A Hug, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan is a Good Friend, Bang Chan is a Good Hyung, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Bang Chan-centric, ChanLix, Childhood Friends, Discrimination, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fae & Fairies, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Human Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hurt/Comfort, Insomniac Bang Chan, Kidnapping, M/M, Magic-Users, Magical Realism, Merman Kim Seungmin, REWRITTEN TO BE OT8, Sad Bang Chan, Vampire Bang Chan, Vampires, Werewolf Han Jisung | Han, Werewolf Seo Changbin, Whump, and chan is protective of them too, bang chan whump, basically its a boarding uni kinda, chan would do anything for stray kids, jisung and changbin are so protective over chan, mage hwang hyunjin, mage lee felix, minchan rise theyre besties too, oh i got distracted, previously known as Smells like Roses to Me, vkook are teachers, werefox Yang Jeongin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27672452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachpancake/pseuds/Peachpancake
Summary: “Who comes up with an idiotic spell like this anyway,” Changbin murmurs. “Jumping over fences--what’s this, parkour?”“It’s kind of clever, if you ask me,” Chan shrugs. “It stopped us from finding the place, didn’t it?”“That’s because we’re idiots,” Jisung points out.Chan pauses.“That’s a fair point.”***aka Chan's just trying to survive his new university, but he ends up in the middle of a war.PREVIOUSLY KNOWN AS Smells like Roses to Me, NOW OT8 WITH CHANLIX AS THE MAIN PAIRING.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Everyone, Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han & Seo Changbin, Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Series: Broken Compass [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023484
Comments: 31
Kudos: 127





	1. As you Face the Trembling Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I have returned!!  
> In case you didn't know already, this is a rewrite of Smells like Roses to me! It is now OT8 with Chanlix as the main pairing! I have also added more plot to the story so please look forward to it :))  
> Let me know what you guys think in the comments!!

Chan casts an uncertain glance at the paper in his hands. The handwriting is hard to read, but he can make out the address - he blinks at it, trying to see if he’s misread anything, but the words are still the same. 

The vampire looks up with a frown, taking in the old, rusty fence surrounding a meadow, and lets out a small sigh. 

“Are you sure we’re at the right place, hyung?” Jisung mumbles, his eyes resting on Changbin, who’s been inspecting the fence with a concentrated look on his face. 

“I think so,” says Chan, tempted to look at the paper once again, even though he knows it won’t make a difference.

“It doesn’t smell like a boarding school to me,” says Changbin after sniffing it. The werewolf straightens back up, tilting his head towards the other two. 

“Do you often smell boarding schools?” asks Jisung, giving him an incredulous look. Changbin shrugs, eyeing the fence with distrust. 

“The paper says that we’re supposed to jump over the fence and the school will be right in front of us,” Chan repeats it yet again, as though he hasn’t been saying the same thing for the past 15 minutes. He lets out a reassuring smile, although from the other two’s faces, it probably looks more like a grimace. “So, I guess we should do that.”

“I don’t know, hyung,” Changbin raises an eyebrow. “You know I’d follow you everywhere, but I’m starting to think someone’s just playing a prank on us.”

“We were escorted by government officials,” the other werewolf deadpans. “I highly doubt we’re so important that someone would pay _government officials_ to play a joke on us.”

“Maybe they dropped us off at the wrong bit,” Chan bites his lip. “Mistakes can happen.”

“Maybe they just wanted to mess with us,” Jisung scowls. “They were the ones ordering us here, you’d think they wouldn’t be making it this difficult for us.” He pats Chan’s shoulder as he walks past him, stepping closer to Changbin. “I guess we should just follow the instructions. We can’t get into trouble that way.” 

He lays his hands on the fence, and with one easy movement, he hops over it --

And disappears. 

Before Chan knows it, his body is ready to pounce, his eyes assessing the situation as his fangs start to grow. He tries smelling the air, but there’s nothing -- he can’t smell anyone other than Changbin.

_He can’t smell Jisung._

Changbin is in a similar situation, his eyes glowing yellow as he stands in front of Chan in a protective manner. 

“Jisung!” He shouts, his eyes scanning the place where Jisung has disappeared to. 

Funnily enough, it _works_. 

It’s one of the strangest things Chan has ever seen in his life - and he’s seen a lot. 

“Hyung…” Changbin whispers slowly, hesitantly. “Do you also see the levitating nose?” 

“Yeah,” Chan breathes, rubbing his eyes to see clearer. “Yeah I can.”

The nose suddenly moves, before the rest of the face appears, and now there’s just Jisung’s head levitating in the air, his body nowhere to be seen.

“What the fuck,” says Changbin. 

Chan couldn’t agree more. 

“Guys, I figured it out,” Jisung says nonchalantly, as if this is a normal, everyday occurrence. 

“Jisung,” Chan says slowly, as if he’s speaking to a wounded animal. “Your body is missing.”

“No, it’s not,” Jisung grins. 

“... _Yes_ , it is,” Changbin frowns. 

“It’s the school’s protective spell,” Jisung rolls his eyes. “They really should have told us about it beforehand.”

“Fucking mages and their stupid spells,” Changbin whispers, relaxing.

“I am so confused,” Chan whispers. He can’t help but think of all the struggles they’re gonna face now - how will Jisung eat? Does he still need food? God, what if he _dies_ ? How are they gonna go to the Academy now if they just _lost_ Jisung’s body on the way?

“Chan hyung, I can see you overthinking,” Jisung sighs. “It’s a mage spell. It surrounds the school, so no prying eyes can find it. You can only see my head right now because I’m leaning through it. I’m okay, don’t worry.”

“Oh,” says Chan. Like he understands. 

He doesn’t. 

“Sorry, hyung, I shouldn’t have scared you like that,” suddenly, the goofy grin on Jisung’s face is replaced by a guilty frown. “Sometimes I forget you used to be human.”

Though Chan is a vampire, he hasn’t always been one--he was bitten when he was still a kid. He stumbled upon the two werewolves not too long after, and somehow Chan has become the alpha to them. He’ll never understand to this day how they put so much faith in him, but he’s not letting go.

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Chan smiles gently. Jisung perks up, his beautiful smile back on his face, and he extends his arms, making a grabby motion. It’s still a strange sight - Jisung’s face and arms can be seen, but the rest of his body is still invisible. 

Changbin starts walking towards Jisung, grumbling about mages, and Chan can’t help but feel fond, watching his two best friends bicker as Jisung moves to grab Changbin’s cheeks. The other werewolf skillfully ducks out the way, already used to it. 

“Who comes up with an idiotic spell like this anyway,” Changbin murmurs. “Jumping over fences--what’s this, parkour?”

“It’s kind of clever, if you ask me,” Chan shrugs. “It stopped us from finding the place, didn’t it?”

“That’s because we’re idiots,” Jisung points out. 

Chan pauses.

“That’s a fair point.”

“Now come on, you two, if we don’t hurry along, we’re gonna be late!” Jisung pulls himself back, disappearing from sight. Changbin glances at Chan and sighs.

“Here goes nothing,” the werewolf murmurs. 

*

Chan will never forget the first time he laid eyes on the campus of the Academy. 

Disctrict 9 was known for being over-the-top - it was the richest district out of all, and they made sure to show off. This was clearly the intent with the Academy too - Chan’s eyes roam around the area, widening from shock as he sees the giant statues forming a U-shape in front of them. They are overgrown by vines, and there are a couple of flowers peeking from the cracks, making them look… _magical_. 

“Woah,” Jisung whispers. 

There’s twelve of them in total - Chan notes that they’re all different species, from a mage to a shapeshifter to a mermaid. There’s a bitter taste in the back of his mouth as he realises there’s no statue of a vampire, but he isn’t surprised. 

The statues tower over the campus which is filled with students going on about their day. Some of them are having a picnic in the grass while others are hurrying to their classes, heading towards one of the walking paths between each statue. It fills Chan with a strange sense of excitement - he’s never wanted to come here, but seeing the place, he can’t deny that he could enjoy studying here. 

“This place looks amazing,” Jisung’s mouth is open as he tries to take in his surroundings, holding onto Chan’s sleeve out of habit. Changbin’s behind Chan - he looks more uncertain, as if he’s almost _suspicious_ at how beautiful the campus is. There’s a sense of distrust in his eyes, and Chan can’t fault him. 

It almost feels like it’s too good to be true. 

Jisung starts waddling towards the field between the statues, blinking at the students leisurely walking past them, and Chan pulls Changbin along with him, offering an encouraging smile when Changbin’s uncertain eyes meet his own. 

_It’s okay,_ Chan tries to let him know through just a glance. _I’m right here._

It seems to work, because the next thing Chan knows, Changbin skips ahead to Jisung’s other side, and the two begin to excitedly blabber on about the campus. Jisung has let go of Chan now, so Chan falls back a bit to keep an eye on the other two, finally letting himself relax a bit. 

Maybe this will be good for them. 

Of course, none of them wanted to travel through 5 districts to be thrown into a life they don’t want - but things could be a _lot_ worse. And if Jisung and Changbin don’t like this place, they can always just go back home. The thought brings a pang in Chan’s chest.

He secretly hopes they don’t leave. 

He doesn’t think he could survive this place alone, no matter how beautiful it is. 

*

He’s got so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t pay attention to where he’s walking - the next thing he knows, he’s on his back, and there’s a throbbing pain at the back of his head. He lets out a low hiss, slowly lifting himself up.

“I’m sorry,” He says quickly, cursing himself for not paying attention. As he becomes more aware of his surroundings, he realises that his hoodie is wet - there’s a big coffee-stain on it, and if Chan could feel heat, it’d probably be stinging from how hot it is. “I should have looked at where I was going.” 

He finally looks up to see who he walked into, only to see a man with an empty coffee-cup frozen in place, staring at Chan. 

Chan looks back down at himself, mentally checking everything - his fangs aren’t out, and he knows his eyes aren’t red. Nothing should give away what he is - why does the other man look so scared then?

“Are you alright?” Chan asks hesitantly. “Did I knock into you too hard?” He gets up, wincing from the way his head throbs in protest again. “I am really sorry again, I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“You’re fine,” the other man finally squeaks out, blinking at him. He quickly clears his throat, and the scared expression on his face is replaced with a carefully blank one. It happens so quickly that Chan gets a whiplash from it. “I should have watched where I was going, I walked into you.”

Chan frowns, tilting his head. 

“Are you okay though?” He asks again, because the other man still hasn’t answered.Chan’s eyes trail to his hands--he’s squeezing them tightly, as if he’s trying to stop them from shaking. 

Chan has good eyes though. He can see the tremors. 

“You’re the one who was knocked on the floor,” the man says with furrowed eyebrows. It seems like he wants to say something else, but he stops himself. His eyes leave Chan’s and look behind him, and his face returns to his blank state. 

“Hyung, we lost you there for a minute,” Changbin shouts as him and Jisung come up behind the older man. Chan smiles at them, awkwardly waving his hands. 

“Yeah, sorry, I got distracted,” he mumbles. 

Jisung’s eyes fall on Chan’s hair that got ruffled from the fall, to the coffee-stain on his hoodie, to the stranger standing in front of Chan. 

_Oh no._

“Is everything alright?” He asks, but there is an edge to his voice. Changbin silently observes the interaction, coming to stand behind Chan like a bodyguard, and Chan resists the urge to roll his eyes. Jisung copies Changbin, crossing his arms as he glares at the man in front of them. 

“Yes, everything is perfectly fine, Jisungie,” Chan says, reaching up to squeeze both Changbin’s and Jisung’s shoulders as a warning. 

_Tone it down._

“I should go,” the man says in a monotone voice. Chan’s face falls at the way the other holds himself in such a defensive position. 

Then he smells the blood. 

He freezes, blinking quickly. He glances down at the man’s hands again--they’re at his side now, but his fingers are digging into his palm so hard that he can _see_ the crimson red liquid. 

_Are we scaring him?_

“Please don’t mind them, they’re horrible at socialising,” Chan offers a weak smile. “Are you sure you don’t want me to buy you coffee? I feel horrible about spilling your drink.”

The man seems to hesitate, his expression softening at the eager look on Chan’s face, but he shakes his head. 

“It’s alright,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry again for bumping into you. I hope you have a good day.”

With that, he turns around and hurries away. 

Chan slaps both of his friends on their necks. 

“What was that for?!” squeals Jisung, ducking out of the way when Chan goes in for a second one. Changbin isn’t so lucky - he grumbles as Chan swats at him for the second time, accepting his fate. 

“You scared him away,” Chan pouts. 

“He didn’t seem like he liked us anyway,” mutters Changbin, but he hangs his head low once he sees Chan’s frown. “Sorry, hyung.”

“We just thought he hurt you,” Jisung blinks with his puppy-dog eyes, and _damn him,_ Chan was always weak to those. So he links his arms with the other two, and pulls them towards the path between the two middle statues, leading to the biggest building on campus. 

“It’s okay,” he says with a small smile on his face. “Let’s just focus on finding the head teacher’s office and get this done with, yeah?”

There’s a sheepish nod from the two werewolves. 

As they start walking, Chan feels eyes on the back of his head--he turns around only to make eye-contact with the man he bumped into. He’s standing near the mage statue with someone else, but Chan can only see the back of their head--blonde hair with a flower crown on it. 

The second Minho realises that Chan has caught him, he blushes and ducks his head down, turning back to the other boy--but as the blond turns to look at what Minho was staring at, Chan’s view is blocked by the mage statue and he doesn’t get to see his face. 

He’s not sure why, but there’s suddenly a pang in his chest, like he’s just missed something important. 

He absentmindedly rubs at it, letting the other two werewolves pull him towards the main building. 

It’s probably nothing.

*

Even the sign is intimidating. 

It says _Head Teacher Mrs Par_ on it, but the letters are long and angular, almost as if they’re leaning over you, trying to make you admit you did something wrong. 

Or maybe Chan is just nervous. 

Going into the building was already nerve-wracking - the ancient, white pillars at the entrance made him feel like he’s too dirty to be here, and he’s never felt smaller than when he walked into the tall hallway. 

It was easy to find Mrs Par’s office - there was a sign at the reception pointing them towards it - but it still took them way too long to get there. Maybe Jisung and Changbin sensed his nervous energy, because they stopped him at every window and painting, pointing at the randomest things - _‘is an empty sandwich wrapper really that interesting, Changbin?’ -_ but, when Chan has finally got enough of it and dragged the other two away from watching two pigeons fight for food through the window, they finally have arrived at the office. 

Maybe he should have let Jisung and Changbin watch those birds a little longer. 

He cautiously stops before the door, gulping, but after a brief moment of hesitation, he raises his hands and decides to knock. 

In no less than a second later, the door opens, revealing a dragoness. 

“Ah,” She says. 

Nothing more, nothing less.

It manages to spike Chan’s anxiety so much that he’s afraid his knees are going to buckle. 

“I’m Bang Chan,” he says, and he’s glad his voice is steadier than he feels. “I was told to come here once I arrived.”

“I’ve been waiting for you,” the dragoness says with no emotion in her voice. Her eyes are burning a hole into Chan’s as she steps aside, motioning for them to come in. “It’s not every day we get new students.”

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Chan says politely. He subconsciously pulls his friends closer to him, squeezing their shoulders in reassurance. The head teacher’s eyes follow the movement, and a wicked smile appears on her face. She decides to say nothing, though, and as Chan and his friends step inside the office, she can’t help but notice that her amber-kissed skin is glowing in the golden light pouring through the window, but her fingertips seem to sparkle with something darker. 

“Take a seat, boys,” she says, sitting down at her desk. “How was the journey?”

“It was fine, thank you for asking,” Chan smiles tightly. He thinks it’s okay not to mention that until he was picked up by some government officials at the border between district 8 and 9, he was driving himself and his friends and his car broke down three times - that he was stopped at every border by the guards and was made to have blood-tests so they could check if he wasn’t secretly munching on their district’s citizen while he was in the area. He doesn’t talk about the fact that with the amount of blood drawn from him, the hunger has been clawing, taking over his mind when he wasn’t forcing himself to forget about the fact that he’s not getting another blood-bag for at least three days. 

He sits down with Jisung and Changbin, who are both very tense, so he pats their thighs subtly to comfort them. They automatically relax into the touch. 

“Now,” the dragoness starts, leaning forward. “There are just some things I have to go over with you boys.” Now that she’s closer, Chan can see her red eyes clearly, burning with fire. A part of him finds it funny that while her eyes are praised and perceived as fierce and strong, Chan’s own red eyes, that only come out when he’s feeding or emotional, are seen as something to be feared. 

As if she can read his thoughts, Mrs Par smiles, showing off her sharp teeth. Her forked tongue slips out for a second, flickering as she licks her lips. 

She’s not even trying to hide that she’s enjoying the situation. 

“As I’m sure you are all aware, you will be joining dorm 3A,” she says slowly. “And, for safety precautions, Bang Chan will not be allowed a roommate.” 

Chan nods, although in the corner of his eyes, he can see Jisung visibly get upset about the statement. Changbin only inhales sharply. 

“Furthermore,” Mrs Par continues as she leans back, satisfied by the reaction, “You will also be wearing an ankle tracer from now on, so we can track you down in case you break the rules.”

There’s something in the way she said it - it makes it sound like Chan’s an _animal_ , getting a collar and being tamed. It sends an unpleasant shiver down his back.

“I understand,” Chan says with a tight-lipped smile. 

He can read between the lines. He knows that the tracker is not for _his_ safety, but for the safety of everyone around him. After all, that’s why he was sent to this school. 

So they can keep him under control. 

He glances down to the ankle tracker that Mrs Par pulls out of the drawer. It looks slightly old-fashioned - it’s definitely gonna be uncomfortable to wear. At least it’s small enough that he can hide it underneath his trousers.

The last thing he wants is to show it off. 

“You are sharing a house with five other people,” the dragoness’ eyes stop on Chan for a second. “I expect no trouble.” She hands the tracker to the vampire, predatory eyes watching hungrily as Chan carefully clips it around his ankle. 

It feels cold--hard and uncomfortable--but he ignores it. 

“I understand,” Chan repeats. 

Mrs Par doesn’t say anything else. Both Jisung and Changbin are fidgeting, moving closer to Chan, although while Changbin just looks uncomfortable, Jisung’s face is red from keeping his anger in. Chan sighs inaudibly, moving to stand up, but before he can, the dragoness is leaning over his chair, staring him down. 

“You better keep in mind, Mr Bang,” she says slowly, her forked tongue flicking again. “That you are already on thin ice. Your false politeness will get you nowhere.”

Chan doesn’t say anything. 

He knows it wouldn’t matter anyway. 

“If you step out of line, I _will_ punish you.”

He doesn’t break eye-contact. 

“Vampires aren’t supposed to be here, you better remember that.”

“That’s _enough._ ”

Jisung is growling. He’s staring at Mrs Par, breathing heavily, and if it weren’t for Changbin moving to hold him back, he probably would have jumped on the head teacher already. 

“You can’t speak to him like that,” he continues. “Chan doesn’t deserve that.”

“Jisung,” Chan says with a warning tone. “Just leave it.”

“Mr Han, Mr Seo,” Mrs Par lazily steps back from Chan’s chair, and it feels like there’s a weight lifted off of him. “We were generous enough to let you study here too -- but if you threaten me like that ever again, you can say goodbye to your _pack alpha_ ,” the way he spits that word makes Chan look away in shame, “because I won’t tolerate such _blatant_ disrespect like that in the Academy. Do you understand?” 

Jisung visibly holds back another growl, and instead stares at the ground, forcing himself to nod. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Changbin says quietly. 

“Wonderful,” Mrs Par smiles sweetly. “That’s all for now. You can leave.”

She drops the keys to the dorm into Jisung’s hands, and motions towards the door. Jisung all but drags Chan out of there, a protective grip on his shoulders as he pushes the vampire as far away from Mrs Par as possible. Changbin follows them closely, hands on Chan’s back and they don’t stop walking until they are back on the campus with the statues. 

Jisung’s breathing hasn’t slowed down, and Chan’s getting worried that he’ll work himself into a panic attack. Glancing at Changbin, he doesn’t seem to be doing much better either--his knuckles are turning white from how hard he’s squeezing his hands into fists. 

He grabs both of them and pulls them into his arms, rubbing his cheeks into their hair. He feels their arms snake around him, and he feels his panic start to melt away too. 

“I’m alright, pups,” he whispers quietly. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“That fucking _bitch,_ ” Jisung snarls into his neck. His grip tightens on Chan. “How fucking _dare_ she.”

“You didn’t deserve that, hyung,” Changbin murmurs quietly as he’s rubbing Jisung’s back in a comforting manner. “I wish we could have done something.”

“Just, don’t cause trouble, okay?” Chan whispers into their hair. “I don’t want to lose you guys too.”

The two werewolves try to move even closer to him, and they’re hugging him with so much force that Chan feels like he might suffocate. 

He wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world though. 

*

_There’s a phone ringing. It’s somewhere in his pocket, the sound tearing through the silence as he lets out a choked noise._

_His feet are pounding against the ground as if it’s trying to replace his missing heartbeat. His bones feel like they’re gonna shatter to pieces, and as he looks down on himself, he realises he’s covered in blood._

_His muscles are burning, and he trips over his own feet, tumbling down from the path. He rolls into a ditch, vision blurring as he knocks his head into something hard. His eyes fill with unshed tears; the phone is_ still _ringing, it’s gonna give him away, they’re going to find him--_

 _He tries to get up, but his vision gives up on him, and he falls back down. He tries crawling instead, towards the bushes that are right in front of him, why is the phone so damn_ loud _\--_

He comes back to consciousness with a gasp, breathing the air in greedily even though as a vampire, he doesn’t need air at all. He can’t _see_ , his hands blindly searching for something to hang on to, and then someone is holding onto him--there are hands on his back, rubbing it gently.

“You’re okay, you’re fine, hyung,” he hears whispers near him. He can’t recognise the voice, but he knows it’s someone safe, so he lets himself fall into their arms. They hold him up, pulling him into an embrace. “We’re here. It’s Jisung and Changbin.”

He’s holding onto them as if his life is depending on it--he tries to blink away the vision he just had, until finally he can see Changbin looking at him with eyes full of worry. It must mean that Jisung is behind him--as he looks around, he realises that they’re behind one of the statues, hidden from any prying eyes. He lets out a relieved sigh. 

“Hyung,” Jisung murmurs. “Are you back with us?”

“Yeah,” Chan breathes. “Yeah, I am. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologise,” Changbin scolds him almost instantly. “You can’t control your visions.”

“They’re normally not this bad, hyung,” Jisung says tentatively. 

It’s true--most of Chan’s visions are barely noticeable. His eyes usually get glassy, and he stares into the distance for a few seconds. His visions are usually only flashes too--they’re never this clear. 

When Chan was turned into a vampire, it came along with the unfortunate powers of seeing into the future. 

It’s not common--and it’s feared. 

It’s the reason no one other than his pack knows about it. 

Being a vampire is already bad--if they’d find out he can see into the future too, he might be pushed out of society completely. 

“The vision was clearer than normal,” Chan said vaguely. He debates telling Jisung and Changbin what he saw--if they hear it, they might never let him go anywhere alone ever again. But he can’t lie to them. “I was getting chased by someone. I think...I think they were going to hurt me.”

Changbin lets out a distressed whine as he holds Chan tighter. 

“You know that the future can change though, pup,” Chan quickly says. “Nothing is written in stone. It’s just a possible outcome.”

“I hate that it _can_ be an outcome,” Jisung frowns. “Hyung, I’m getting worried. This place...as pretty as it is, it’s dangerous for you here.”

“I don’t have a choice, you know that,” Chan lets out a tired sigh. “Just...Just give this a chance, okay? Let’s make the most out of it.”

Jisung grimaces, but he slowly nods. 

“Okay,” Changbin murmurs too. 

“Great!” Although visions take a lot out of him, the last thing Chan wants is to give a bad impression to their new housemates, so he straightens up and shakes the fatigue off. “Let’s start walking towards the dorm then, shall we?”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Jisung smiles weakly, linking his arms with the vampire. Changbin does the same on the other side. Chan grins and starts skipping down the path nearest to them, dragging the werewolves with him with a giggle. He gets a good distance in before he stops, a thought occurring to him.

“Guys,” he says hesitantly. Jisung and Changbin both stop , their heads snapping towards him with concern in their eyes. 

“Yeah, hyung?” Changbin asks quickly. 

“Do we know where dorm 3A is?”

“...Fuck.”


	2. When you Say my Name, Nothing's Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly, but surely, they finally make it out of the building, and then Chan is faced with two werewolves staring at him with a deadpan expression. 
> 
> “We left you alone for five minutes,” Changbin says. “How did you already pick up some strays?”
> 
> *
> 
> aka Chan saves a merman, adopts a couple more people, and meets an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm back!! It's assignment season so my uploads will be slow until the end of January sadly, but I am going to upload!! The chapters are also longer than before so hopefully that makes up for it a little bit? Anyway, hope you enjoy!! <3 Thank you so much for all the support I have gotten so far <333

Chan was twelve when he was killed. 

He was walking home from the beach--his mother always told him not to stay out too late, especially as a human. He’s too vulnerable, too easy of a  _ target _ , especially in District 1.

He should have listened to her. 

He remembers the red eyes. They stare into his soul, holding him in one place, and Chan can never forget the pure _ terror _ as life was drained out of him. 

Whenever Jisung and Changbin asked about it, about the  _ incident,  _ he just smiles and says it doesn’t matter.  _ It’s in the past,  _ he would always shrug.  _ Better to just forget about it. _

But he can’t. 

He wishes he could say that he doesn’t remember most of it--but every night, before he goes to bed, he runs his fingers through the scars on his throat and his chest. He thinks about the way he was held against the wall in a hidden alleyway, a dagger dragged through his skin every time he tried to escape. He thinks about how his neck almost snapped with the force the vampire pushed it aside to gain access to it, and he thinks about the unbelievable pain of him  _ tearing _ his throat apart as he finally drank from him. 

He thinks of the way he woke up a couple hours later, covered in blood and scared out of his mind.

The way he crawled home only to have his mother screaming and calling him a demon, kicking him off the front porch. 

The way he caught his reflection on the window and saw the same pair of red eyes staring back at him. 

His mother let him in the next day, when she saw that he was still lying there in the morning, too weak to move. She carefully lifted him up with an unreadable look in her eyes, and took him inside. Bathed him, dressed him up. 

Chan didn’t say a single thing throughout it. 

“I’m sorry,” his mother murmured. “I never expected this to happen _. _ ”

_ Never expected you to turn into a monster. _

Chan wanted to scream at her back then--wanted to ask why she felt the need to kick him, to lock him out of the house when he was already on the verge of  _ another _ death. He couldn’t, though. He would only flinch when his mother moved to pet his hair, whispering that everything is going to be okay. 

He knew she was lying.

Their relationship was never the same after that night. Chan’s mother had to take care of both him and his younger brother, had to make sure Chan’s hunger won’t put anyone around them in danger. She packed up all their stuff that night, and before Chan could even process it, they moved to District 4. 

It was a blur--Chan was still trying to understand what he went through. Sometimes he woke up with nightmares, nails digging into his neck as he’s trying to push away someone who’s not there--sometimes he locked himself in the closet, pressing his back against the wood, eyes darting left and right in case someone wants to attack him. His little brother wasn’t allowed to come into his room anymore due to their mother’s orders, and Chan was too terrified to come out. Yedam used to sit on the other side of his bedroom door, talking about anything he could. Chan never answered.

Then the mages started visiting. 

Chan now understands that they were trying to figure out how dangerous he was. Back then though, all he could see was these adults prodding and poking at him, tempting him with blood only to take it away last minute. Whenever he begged for them to just let him have a sip, they just jotted something down and repeated the same process. It made Chan feel shameful--he was disgusted with himself for wanting to drink blood so much. Slowly, but surely, he convinced himself that he’s a monster. 

Ultimately, when Chan just plain out refused to drink blood to the extent where he got so weak he couldn’t even walk, the mages agreed that he had enough self control, and that he’s allowed to attend school as long as he follows the curfew and only drinks the blood the government sends every week. 

Suddenly he didn’t need to be locked in his room whenever Yedam was home. His mother finally looked at him with something other than disappointment. 

Chan realised that his worth depends on his self-control. 

There was a constant reminder that he was different though. That he was a danger to society. It was in the way the teachers acted around him--the way he wasn’t allowed to do after school activities, the way he had to sit separately at lunch, and was never allowed to drink blood on school grounds. It was in the way he had to be inside by 9pm, otherwise the police would come and put him in a holding cell for the night. 

It has happened three times back when he was a teenager. 

As he grew older, things have changed--there have been laws made so that people like him could have more rights, but it hasn’t changed much. He could stay out until 10pm, and wasn’t tested every week to see if he’s been drinking anyone’s blood. 

He only had to do that when he was travelling in between Districts now. 

Nevertheless, Chan has grown up trying to avoid trouble as much as he could, knowing that the consequences would be twice as bad for him as it would be for anyone else. 

It’s just his luck that he stumbles upon a dying merman on the first day of moving to the Academy. 

*

Chan wasn’t looking for trouble. 

He really wasn’t--it’s not his fault trouble has favourites and somehow he got on that list. 

He only wanted to go to the toilet. 

He thought he should wash his face before he meets his housemates--the vision and the conversation with the head master took a lot out of him. 

He doesn't expect to find a merman choking on air in the middle of the bathroom. 

The boy is struggling to move. His skin is dry, cracked, and his mouth is open wide, as if he’s trying to gasp for air.

“Where’s your pendant?” Chan wastes no time to crouch down next to the boy. The merman’s tail violently flails as if he’s trying to keep Chan away, but the vampire ignores it in favour of taking a water bottle he carries for his pups out of his bag. 

“I don’t--” the merman rasps, choking on air, “they took it from me--”

“Shh,” Chan says urgently, trying to quiet down the merman as it was clearly hurting him to talk. Without any hesitation, he pours the water on the boy’s skin. The merman sighs in relief, but his eyes are still full of fear. He curls on himself, away from Chan. For a second, Chan doesn’t see the boy--memories flash in front of his eyes, but he forcefully blinks to chase them away. 

“I need--” the boy gasps again, his hands reaching for his neck desperately. “the pendant--”

“I can help you,” Chan says gently. He reaches to his neck, unfastening the necklace around it. “I had a friend when I was young,” he murmurs quietly. “He was a merman too.” He quickly puts the necklace around the merman’s neck. “I carried this around in case he got into trouble.”

Chan’s eyes widen in fascination as the painfully cracked tail disappears and instead a pair of legs appear. The second the merman sees them, he lets out a shaky breath, sinking against the wall. Chan can hear him breathe easier now. 

“Hey, wait,” Chan whispers. “You need to stay awake.”

The boy is freezing, even to Chan’s cold fingers. The vampire bites his lip in worry--the boy’s lips are turning blue, and his skin is almost as pale as Chan’s. 

He wets a paper towel with some warm water and puts it on the merman’s skin, which is still horribly cracked and dry. The merman flinches, eyes flying open, but once he sees what Chan is doing, he relaxes. Chan knows the paper towel will only help in the short term, but he doesn’t know what else to do. The best thing would be a towel or a cloth, or maybe he should just call for help, maybe someone out there knows what to do? What if he can’t help the boy at all? What if--

“Thank you,” the boy rasps. Chan blinks, pulling himself out of his panic as he hears a weak voice. The merman is looking at Chan with half-lidded eyes, trying to straighten himself up, but his hands slip on the ground. Chan reaches out and puts his hand behind the boy’s head so he doesn’t hit it against the wall and injure himself further. As a result of this, the merman falls forward instead, into Chan’s chest. 

The vampire tenses, but the boy practically melts into him so Chan hesitantly puts his arms around him, awkwardly patting his back. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he says quietly. “Are you....are you okay?”

“Yeah,” the boy nods against his shoulder. “Yeah, thank god you had a pendant on you.”

“It was very lucky,” Chan agreed. “I’m not sure what would have happened if I didn’t have one.”

Well, he does know, he just doesn’t want to think about it. He has never seen a merman die from drying out, but he’s seen one be close enough for it to be deadly. Images of dry skin cracking open as someone chokes on their own blood floods his mind and he quickly squeezes his eyes closed, trying to distract himself from remembering. 

He pulls the merman closer, patting him as the boy’s trying to get his shaky breathing under control. Chan pulls an extra hoodie from his bag, placing it around the boy’s back as he knows vampires don’t offer much warmth at all. 

“I’m Seungmin,” the boy mumbles as he relaxes in the hoodie. Chan smiles at the way he snuggles into him. 

“I’m Chan,” he whispers back. 

Before Seungmin can say anything else, two people burst through the door, and someone grabs his t-shirt, pushing him against the wall. 

*

He can smell the blood.

It’s always been the smell of it that bothers him the most. It reminds him of when he woke up covered in  _ red _ . It reminds him of when he was tempted with it for weeks only to get it taken away from him when he could finally drink blood. 

It bothers him the most because instinctively, it makes his eyes turn red. 

When he smells the blood, he closes his eyes, not even bothering to stop his head from banging against the wall. He lets out a low hiss, but makes no move to stop whoever has just grabbed him. He wants to desperately know where the blood is coming from, but he’s afraid that if he opens his eyes, things could get much,  _ much _ worse. 

“Who the hell are you?!” Someone snarls into his face. “What did you do to Seungmin?” 

Chan can feel the temptation crawling up his throat, urging him to just lean forward and  _ bite-- _

“I said, who  _ are  _ you?”

Chan turns his head away and stays quiet. He can feel the guy in front of him shift to potentially push him against the wall again, but a whisper interrupts them. 

“Hyunjin…” 

The grip on Chan’s t-shirt only tightens, but the boy isn’t planning to bash his head into the wall anymore. 

Chan slowly opens his eyes, blinking a couple of times as he feels his red eyes fade back into brown. The boy in front of him is staring at the merman, expression tense and determined. His eyes are full of worry as he takes in the state the merman is in until his eyes stop on his legs. There’s another boy crouching over Seungmin, checking over him frantically, not paying any attention to Chan and the guy holding him. 

“Seungmin, did he hurt you?” the boy,  _ Hyunjin, _ asks quietly. Chan shivers slightly from the  _ edge  _ in his voice--he was dangerous. 

“No,” Seungmin shakes his head, swaying slightly. The boy next to him steadies him by the shoulders. “No, he’s a friend. He helped me.”

Hyunjin’s grip weakens but he’s not letting go. Chan glances down to his hands and realises that the blood is coming from the nail markings on Hyunjin’s palms, probably from squeezing his hands into fists too hard. 

“What happened?” The other boy asks. He seems a bit younger than Seungmin, big, bambi eyes staring at Seungmin in concern. 

“A couple of bullies cornered me,” Seungmin shrugged, as if it’s an everyday occurrence. Something cold settles in Chan’s stomach. He hopes that’s not the case. “Took my pendant.”

“What?” Hyunjin stutters. He lets go of Chan, hurrying next to Seungmin. “How--But you still have your legs…?”

“Chan helped me,” Seungmin motions towards the vampire. Chan awkwardly waves. “He has a pendant on him. Said a friend of his gave him a back-up one in case something like this happens.” Seungmin offers Chan a soft smile. “I was incredibly lucky that you showed up.”

Chan admires the way Seungmin is taking all of this in with a stride. His life is dependent on a single pendant around his neck, and without that, he can dry out on land unless he gets to water quick enough, but that’s almost impossible with the way his legs would turn into a tail and breathing would become more and more difficult. 

It’s a terrifying situation to be in, and yet Seungmin just wears a content smile as the two boys fret over him. 

“Oh,” Hyunjin murmurs. He hesitantly glances up at Chan, something close to an apology in his eyes, but Chan just offers him a gentle smile. 

“I’m Jeongin,” the other boy says sweetly, and Chan turns to him. He looks upset, hands shaking slightly as they hold onto Seungmin’s shoulders, but he’s wearing a grateful smile on his face. His eyes crinkle up as he stares at Chan, and the vampire just  _ melts _ . “Thank you...thank you so much for helping Seungmin hyung.”

“Eh,” Chan says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s really no big deal. I was just in the right place at the right time.” He looks down, shuffling his feet, taking a hesitant step closer to the injured merman. As he glances up, he sees the merman reaching towards him, and Hyunjin moves a bit to the side to give Chan some space. 

Chan is extremely relieved that he doesn’t have to leave Seungmin yet. He’s too worried about his health. 

He kneels down next to the merman, and Seungmin holds onto his hand gently. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Chan says softly.

“It’s all thanks to you,” Seungmin smiles sweetly. “Would you like your hoodie back?”

Hyunjin glances at him nervously, trying to be subtle, but Chan has heightened senses. It’s hard to be subtle around a vampire. 

“No, it’s alright, you’re still shivering from the cold,” Chan says. “We should probably take you back to your place so that you can rest.” He pauses. “You,” he corrects himself, looking at Hyunjin and Jeongin. “I meant you guys.”

Jeongin gives him a stare that Chan has difficulty figuring out.

“We don’t mind you coming with us,” Jeongin says, frowning. “We could use some help. And,” he blinks at Seungmin, who looks a bit more tense than before, “I think Seungmin would feel safer as well if you’d come.”

Chan almost wants to scoff. Feeling safer around  _ him _ ?

“Okay,” Chan agrees. “As long as you guys don’t mind.”

Hyunjin pointedly stays quiet, but he doesn’t actively say no.

“Can you walk, hyung?” Jeongin asks Seungmin. 

“He shouldn’t,” Hyunjin says immediately. “He needs all the rest he can have, walking back to the dorms will make things work.”

“I’m fine, Hyunjin,” Seungmin rumbles, but as he moves to stand up, his elbows buckle.

“I can give you a piggyback, if you’d like, Seungmin,” Chan offers quickly. “It’s no bother.”

Hyunjin was trying to be subtle before, but now he’s just straight up glaring at Chan. The vampire shrinks back from the look, confused, before realising that he probably doesn’t know Seungmin enough to offer something like a piggyback, and that he overstepped a line. He opens his mouth to apologise, but then Seungmin’s eyes light up as he lets out a giggle. 

“Okay! That’d be fun!” He smiles sweetly. He lifts his arms up to make grabby hands towards Chan and the vampire can feel himself melt with the way Seungmin blinks at him cutely. He can see Hyunjin gaping at them in the corner of his eyes as he lifts the merman up with no trouble at all. 

Perks of having super strength. 

Seungmin is still surprisingly light though, and Chan wonders if he eats enough, before realising that he’s probably already too invested in the merman’s life, and he should stop before he makes Seungmin uncomfortable. 

When he turns back to the other two boys, he can see Hyunjin opening his mouth to say something, but then Jeongin links arms with him with more force than Chan normally sees people linking arms with each other, and gives Hyunjin an almost threatening smile.

Chan blinks at them, confused. 

“We’ll carry your bags, Chan,” Jeongin says, turning to him with a wide grin. The vampire nods in thanks, and follows the two boys out to the corridor. 

Slowly, but surely, they finally make it out of the building, and then Chan is faced with two werewolves staring at him with a deadpan expression. 

“We left you alone for five minutes,” Changbin says. “How did you already pick up some strays?”

Hyunjin makes an offended noise, and Chan sends Changbin a scolding look, but Jeongin interrupts him before he can truly tell the werewolf off for being rude.

“Hiya!” He beams.  _ He has braces,  _ Chan realises. “I’m Jeongin!”

That’s all it takes for Jisung and Changbin to melt on the spot. 

“Oh my god, you are  _ adorable _ ,” Jisung squeaks. He jumps up and down, turning to Chan. “Can we keep him, please? Can we, can we?”

“No,” Chan says sternly, but there’s no bite in his tone. “We can’t just keep people like they’re pets, Jisung, you know that.”

Jeongin giggles as Jisung bounces around him, cooing at his expressions, ignoring Chan completely. 

The vampire sighs in defeat.

“I’m Seungmin,” Seungmin calls from behind Chan.. 

Hyunjin stares at the werewolves with uncertainty, before shrugging.

“Hyunjin,” He murmurs.

“I’m Jisung, and this is Changbin!” Jisung shouts, jumpscaring Jeongin who was standing right next to him. “I’m obviously Chan hyung’s favourite.” He bows dramatically, only to be pushed to the side by Changbin.

“As if,” he scoffs. He fixes the cap on his head as he waves at Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jeongin. “Chan hyung obviously loves me more.”

Hyunjin gives them both a weird look, but Chan can see the small tug at the corner of his mouth. 

“Okay, we gotta get Seungmin home,” Chan says with a smile, trying to disperse the chaos. “He’s exhausted, and he needs some sleep.”

“What happened?” Jisung asks. He steps closer to Chan, glancing up at the merman. 

“Well…” Seungmin says slowly. “I got attacked in the bathroom - a couple of guys just took my pendant and ran away.” Seeing Jisung’s confusion, he adds, “I’m a merman.”

“Oh god,” Changbin murmurs with a frown. “Does that happen often?”

“Not really,” Seungmin shrugs. “It’s the same guys who bully everyone on campus. Usually I’m safe.” He holds onto Chan tighter. “And Chan hyung helped me! He gave me his pendant.”

“Oh,” says Changbin intelligently. “ _ Oh. _ ”

It looks like Jisung wants to say something, but Chan sends him a  _ look  _ and he closes his mouth. “You’re okay now, though, right?” he asks instead, looking at Seungmin with worry. 

“Sure,” Seungmin murmurs. He snuggles his head back into Chan’s shoulder. “I’m just tired.”

“We should get you back to your dorm then,” Chan says, keeping his voice light. He shifts his balance to get a better grip, and Seungmin lets out a contented sigh as he finally relaxes and eventually dozes off.

As he turns his head, he can see Hyunjin staring at them with a strange look in his eyes, but then he just turns away and starts walking along the path, dragging Jeongin along. 

“Wait, which dorm are we going to?” Chan asks with uncertainty, hurrying after them. 

“Dorm 3A!” Jeongin smiles widely as he looks back at the vampire. 

“Oh,” says Jisung. “We’re in dorm 3A.”

Jeongin blinks at him in confusion.

“I...I don’t think so?” he says slowly. “I think I would have noticed if we’re living together.”

“We’re new here,” Chan says quickly. “Have they not told you that you’re getting new roommates?”

“Oh, no, they did!” Jeongin brightens. “It must be you three then.”

Hyunjin huffs out a laugh, and Chan can’t help but smile along with him. As they make eye-contact, Hyunjin’s eyes stop on Seungmin, and his expression becomes softer.

_ Ah. _

_ A crush. _

As Hyunjin looks back to Chan, there’s something close to acceptance in his eyes. 

_ Oh, no.  _

Chan will have to let him know that he has no interest in Seungmin like that later. 

“There’s five of us living together in dorm 3A right now,” Jeongin says excitedly as the house comes into view. “Plus you three now, I suppose.”

“I can’t wait to meet everyone!” Jisung whisper-shouts. 

“They’re all super nice, I promise!” Jeongin nods. “Except maybe like Minho hyung. But you just got to give him time, he’ll warm up to you!”

“I think Felix is home right now,” Hyunjin adds. He pushes the door open with his shoulder, and skips inside. “We’re back!”

Chan blinks, but before he could react to hearing a familiar name, the pups push him through the door, and he stumbles in just as he hears footsteps. 

He slowly looks up, only to feel like his soul leaves his body as his eyes stop on…

_ Freckles.  _

“Felix,” he murmurs quietly. 

Felix stands in front of him, his mouth hanging open as he’s staring back at him.

“ _ Chan? _ ” 

Chan steps backwards, and he can feel Jisung and Changbin both step forward in front of him, feeling the distress radiating from the vampire. They shield him from the other boy’s point of view, and Changbin even lets out a low warning growl. 

“Chan, what…” Felix chokes out, trying to get a better look at the vampire. Chan’s hands start shaking, but Jisung holds onto them with a reassuring smile. 

Felix has changed. 

Gone was the baby fat and the childish, naïve look in his eyes - he looks like an adult now. There’s a flower crown with roses on his head, his slightly pointy ears almost hidden by his messy hair. His freckles are glowing slightly, highlighting his warm, brown eyes that are filled with disbelief. 

“Seungmin?” He asks hesitantly. “What...what’s going on?”

“He’s okay,” Chan reassures him instantly, although his voice is shaking more than he’s willing to admit. He glances at Jeongin and Hyunjin who are watching the scene unfold with uncertainty. “Let me just put him down.” 

With help from Hyunjin, they carefully lie the sleeping merman down on the sofa, Hyunjin hesitantly looking up to Chan as the vampire pulls himself back to his pack. 

“What happened?” Felix asks with reasonably more alarm in his voice. He crouches down next to Seungmin, laying his hand on the merman’s forehead, frowning at the lack of heat. 

“Someone took his pendant,” Chan mumbles. Felix’s eyes snap to Seungmin’s neck, widening as they take in the pendant Chan gave him.

“Hyung, isn’t that--” Felix gasps quietly. “Isn’t that Bambam’s?”

“Yeah,” Chan agrees. He reaches for Jisung’s hand and squeezes it. 

“Isn’t that the only thing left of--”

“Yeah,” Chan says a bit more forcefully. “But Seungmin was in trouble. I wasn’t going to leave him there.”

“Of course,” Felix whispers. His voice is filled with sorrow as he stares at the pendant.

Chan wishes he could wrap him in a hug.

“You two, uh…” Chan hears Jeongin say awkwardly. “ you know each other?”

Felix glances back up at Chan. 

Chan forces himself not to look away.

“We were childhood friends,” Felix says slowly. Jeongin frowns in confusion, but the half-fae doesn’t look at him. His eyes are only on Chan.

“Until he disappeared out of nowhere.”

  
  


*

Chan ends up standing behind the sofa, Jisung and Changbin right beside him as Hyunjin is lifting a glass of water to Seungmin’s lips who has woken up. Jeongin nestled into the armchair, waiting expectantly for an explanation as Felix is just staring at Chan. 

“You look different.”

His words aren’t said with bad intent, yet Chan still flinches. 

He’s not surprised the mage said that--the Chan Felix knew was tan, covered in freckles from being out in the sun for too long. He had black, curly hair and a bright smile, always full of energy. 

This Chan?

His skin is pale like porcelain, his smile timid, and his hair has paled into a light brown. 

“Yeah,” Chan whispers. “I guess.”

“Where did you go?” Felix finally asks with something like desperation in his voice. “You...you left without a word.”

“District 4,” says Chan. “I didn’t mean to leave without saying goodbye.”

Felix frowns. He makes eye-contact with Hyunjin, and he must have seen something in them, because when he turns back to Chan’s there’s something vulnerable in his expression and  _ oh, Chan has never wanted to make him feel this way.  _

“ _ Why _ did you leave?”

Chan’s breath stutters. 

He’s  _ known  _ this question was coming, he knew it from the second he laid his eyes on Felix, and yet he still doesn’t feel prepared. 

What’s he supposed to say? 

That he was left in an alleyway with barely any blood in him on the night they have played at the beach? That his heart had stopped and never started beating again? That his mother was so scared that he’s going to get killed again that she packed all their stuff up and moved without a word?

That the person Felix knew is  _ dead _ ?

“Felix…” Chan starts, but the words get stuck in his throat. He swallows. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Felix asks, his voice raising slightly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna leave?” He takes a step forward and there is so much  _ hurt  _ in his voice. “Why did you leave me like that  _ especially  _ after what happened with Bambam?”

Jisung steps forward, glaring at Felix, but the plant mage ignores him. 

Chan’s hands tremble as they reach to hold onto Jisung’s shoulder - he’s not sure if it’s to hold the werewolf back or to give himself some support. 

He tries to speak again.

“Felix,” he whispers quietly. “I...I died.”

“...What?” 

Felix’s hurt turns into confusion.

“That day... the day before I left,” Chan whispers. “I died.”

He can say it. 

He can do this.

“I’m a vampire.”

He  _ cannot  _ do this. 

He’s always hated to see the way people react when he reveals his species. It was tough enough as a kid, never having any friends because everyone was scared that he’d drink their blood. 

They  _ despised  _ him. 

And how could they not, when Chan despised himself?

He should have expected it, but it still hurts a bit when Seungmin flinches. Chan steps back to give him space, and ignores the way Hyunjin tenses, or the way Jeongin straightens up, his smile melting off of his face. 

But he can’t ignore the way Felix stumbles back as if he was slapped. It feels like his already-damaged heart just shatters into a million tiny pieces. 

“How…?” Felix asks quietly. For a second, Chan thinks he can hear disgust, but then he looks into the mage’s eyes and there are tears rolling down on his face. Felix hesitantly brings up a hand and reaches it towards the vampire. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

Chan blinks. He can’t take his eyes off of Felix. He’s desperately trying to find any hints of fear or anger on his face, but he can’t find any. Confusion fogs his brain as he tries to understand what’s happening. 

“What are you saying sorry for?”

“Chan,” Felix says his name like a prayer. “Chan, Jesus,  _ what _ ?” He angrily wipes the tears of his face. “I thought you just left because you grew tired of me. Not...not this. I should have known you wouldn’t do that.” He looks pained. “I wasn’t there for you.”

“Oh,” Chan murmurs. He can tell the others are still tense, so he takes another step back, just in case. “It’s okay. I was dangerous anyway, you probably wouldn’t have talked to me anyway.”

“What do you mean?!” Felix raises his voice again. “You were my  _ best friend! _ ”

He frantically reaches out to the vampire again, more tears building up in his eyes. Chan blinks, shocked by such a violent reaction. 

“You just disappeared, and I didn’t know what happened to you!” He grabs Chan’s hands, holding onto them tightly. “I thought...I thought maybe you were taken by District 0.” He gasps. “I thought you were  _ dead _ .”

Chan doesn’t understand.

Does he not understand that Chan’s a  _ monster _ ? That Chan survives by  _ drinking  _ other people’s blood? That he’s controlled by his thirst and has to be monitored 24?7 in case he  _ attacks  _ someone?

He’s  _ dangerous _ .

“Hyung,” Changbin whispers next to him, as if he’s reading his mind. “I don’t think he cares.”

“Of course I don’t care!” Felix shouts. “No matter what happened, you’re still Chan. And the Chan I remember was pretty fucking amazing.”

And then Chan’s embraced by warmth, the mage’s arms holding him close. The vampire can’t help but melt into the touch, still barely believing that Felix isn’t scared of him. He realises just how much he missed the mage as he witnesses daisies beginning to sprout from Felix’s hair. 

“I’ve changed,” Chan says weakly. “You don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Then I’ll get to know you,” Felix says surely. “I’m never letting you go again, Chan.


End file.
